Wednesday, January 4, 2012


Yes.  Marriage is about compromise.  Shocker?  How about make that New Years resolution something that you will really stick to.  Learn what compromise means.  Don't just leave it as the definition of taking what you want and what he wants and melding them, but REALLY apply it to your life.  Compromise is one topic that is commonly discussed in premarital counseling, but true compromise isn't understood unless YOU make the effort to seek out what it means for your life.  Take this situation for example.  Deciding where to go for the holidays.  Easy as pie.  But deciding how to celebrate different traditions is where real compromise comes in.  Should you put up a fake tree, or chop down the nearest pine (probably not recommended since that is illegal, unless if you live on a tree farm)?  Should you decorate cookies together?  Open gifts on Christmas Eve or the actual day? Spend time with family or friends, and if so, how long?  Compromise is not always getting what you want, but it is learning to give up some, but also to get some in return.  It's like the phrase "choose your battles."  Why argue about if you should have an angel or a star ontop of the tree, when you can enjoy a nice discussion about it with your hubby while sipping some hot cocoa.  Sounds a lot nicer huh?  Well, compromise does not mean to give up everything you want either.  It should be equal (I'm not saying that since you got your way last time means that he should get his way next time).  It means that it will take work to put each other first, and to learn what equality means in your relationship.  That is one of THE toughest things to do in any relationship, let alone a marriage.  Putting each other first is not only learning what you want, but it is learning what he wants, and how to go from there.  Just remember, compromise is not always black and white, but it is your responsibility to figure out the shades of gray.
If you want my husband's corresponding blog link, click here!

1 comment:

  1. Courtney, as a soon-to-be married woman, let me just tell you that this is such a wonderful blog! Thanks so much!