Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Looking For Prince Charming

So as you might know, marriage is a pretty big committment.  Like BIG big.  So here are some simple steps to find Prince Charming.
Step 1: Stop looking so hard.  I'm not saying he's not out there.  I know the whole "patience is vurtue thing" is frustrating.  Trust me.  But the best things really do come to those who wait.  My husband and I have been together for almost three years, and have been married for half a year.  I had given up on finding a guy when I met Andrew, so remember that God has a good sense of humor.  I am not saying to shut down your online dating profile and to give up trying.  I'm just telling you to give the search a little rest.
Step 2: Figure out who YOU are first.  I cannot say this enough.  It is VERY important to understand who you are, what your views are on life (although they will change throughout your life), and appreciate yourself for who you are as an individual.  I understand how hard it is.  You find a cute guy, you fall for him, but then you lose who you are because you weren't ready.  Whether you are a camping, tree hugging woman who loves the outdoors, or a woman who loves wearing pearls and an apron, become the woman you want to be before entering a committed relationship.
Step 3: Make a list.  Ok, so we aren't in junior high any more.  But does that stop us from still having a list of what we want in a guy in our minds?  Nope.  I know it seems childish, but once you have it, you will thank me.  Alright, now start with a pen and paper, or just type it up.  Maybe tape it into your agenda book once your done.  Make sure it is in a secure place where you won't lose it!  Make three columns.  Title them What You Need, What You Want, What You DON'T Want.  This is important.  Now write things that you need, starting easy with things like, "he is intelligent," or "he is kind."  Once you have finished that, move onto the maybe column.  Maybe write something like, "he loves puppies like I do," or "he likes the same music as I do."  It will be hard to decipher the maybe from the need columns.  Once you have made that portion, go through the need column and determine if you actually need that, or if it is just a want.  I know, it's hard, but it is important to decipher the two.  In order to find the right  guy, you have to make sure he has all the needs, and a majority of the wants.  Relationships, even from the beginning, are about compromise.  Just make sure you know which things NOT to compromise (i.e. that he respects you as an individual, and that he respects himself too).  Now for the don't want column.  Don't look at the other columns just yet.  Write what you think you can't have.  Then, look at the need column and add the opposite of what you need to the don't pile.  This is also important.  You need to stick your grounds.  This is the MOST important column.  This is the no compromising column.  So often women think, "Well, they say they love me, and they have a lot of the wants and most of the needs.  They make me happy, so I am willing to overlook the don't column."  Major no-no.  NEVER compromise this one.  Remember, you are that strong, independent woman from step 2.  You deserve the best, so never settle.
Step 4: Keep on the look-out.  This does not mean spy on any man with a set of abs.  This means that love might be just around the corner, or it could take time, but that the right guy is out there if that is God's plan for your life.  Just make sure to always remember your list, even when you are out at the bar scene. 
And finally...
Step 5: Never lose who you are.  Whether you are discouraged because you aren't finding the right guy, or you are starting to lose yourself in your significant other, remember that it is most important that each person in the relationship is first happy with themselves.  Don't lose hope, you are an amazing woman who deserves to be treated as such.
If you remember all these steps, you are on your way to finding the right guy (or girl) for you.  Till next time!
(to look at my husband's corresponding blog post, click here!)

1 comment:

  1. I love the part about spying on men with abs. haha

    The list is such good advice! I made my list in 7th grade after my pastor's daughter told us a story about how she made her list and found someone who matched everything after she had given up hope. I still have my list, and I plan on giving it to my husband someday. It's such a beautiful thing to be in line with God's plan for you.

    Keep up the good work, Little! :)