Thursday, January 5, 2012

Boundaries With the Opposite Gender

Suprisingly, this topic has been one of the easiest and hardest for Andrew and I.  Ever since freshman year of high school, I have always been the girl who plays frisbee and hangs out with the guys.  I have always had my few great girl friends throughout the years, but I would say that in high school a majority of my friends were male.  Now take Andrew.  He had a similar situation in high school where he had a close group of guys, but a majority of his friends were girls.  It's just how we are.  Now fast foward to married life.  Even during pre-marital counseling, we were faced with this topic and how to handle it.  We kind of stuck with the answer of, "I guess we will just see.  I'm sure not much will change."   See, we were a little wrong with that answer.  Throughout our marriage, we have come up with one key goal that we must stick to.  We must be 100% honest with each other.  Honesty does not mean just that you don't lie.  It also means that you are open and honest with your opinions on things.  Take boundaries for instance.  We have since set the boundary that we need to ask each other before hanging out with the opposite sex.  I know this might sound like a weird rule, getting permission and all, but it goes along with honesty and respect.  For me, there are some girls that I know 100% are in the friend zone, so I feel most comfortable with them.  There are other girls that have a flirty nature who we are a little more careful with.  And just so you know, the same goes for me too, it's not just one way.  Another point in our boundaries is that if you are alone with a member of the opposite sex (not including family members), it has to be in a public place like at a cafe.  Just because you are married, that doesn't mean you should stop being careful with guarding your heart.  That is why so many people are tempted to cheat.  They don't realize the spiral of temptation.  Even the bible refers to guarding your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life.  Guard it sister!  It is precious, yet easily influenced.  Andrew and I have realized that boundaries with the opposite gender are always changing, and will continue to change as we start thinking about children, and even just with age.  I am thankful to have a husband who I can work together with as a team, and who respects the boundaries we have set.  Just remember, honesty is key.  If you feel like a boundary needs to change, talk to your man.  Don't let it bother you without talking about it, because that will hurt your relationship.  You are in it together, so if it is the right relationship, he will respect your boundaries.  Even if you have to compromise a little!
If you want Andrew's blog post, click here!

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