Friday, September 7, 2012

Who are you?

How do you feel about the phrase "don't marry someone you can live with, only someone you can't live without?"  When are things too mushy?  I believe that true love is not just holding hands in public (even though that is sweet), and it is definantly not that akward PDA couple in high school.  I think it is nice to find somone that you have passion for.  Passion will always change throughout the years, but it is important that if you look over at your husband, that you should always feel that sense of attraction.  I think the main thing that I have learned is that no one will make you perfect.  No one will complete you.  No one will fill in what you lack.  Marriage is about complementing each other.  It is about pushing each other to be the best that we can be, not totally dependant on one another.  I have two legs, two arms, a heart, and a brain.  For instance.  I watched an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress," which is always acceptable to watch.  The bride only wanted her friends and groom to approve the dress.  How is that a happy life?  I am an education major.  I play the cello.  I am a believer.  A dreamer.  Who are you?

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Right now is such a trasitional time.  Andrew and I are about to move into a new apartment (yay), but it is even more than that.  I am excited to start a new job (with orienation for the next few days), and I am excited that within the next year, I will graduate, and we will be able to focus on an even bigger transition of hopfully moving to Nashville, TN.  Right now, I am in a reflective mood, so bare with me!  Within the last few days, a friend has gotten engaged, and two people have had babies.  One of those babies was born 10 weeks early.  Thoughout my reflections, I hope the best for all three.  One is a good friend's sister who had her third child with her husband.  The one engaged is happy and seems excited for what's to come.  And the last couple are excited about the birth of their baby girl.  I am so excited for each of these precious people in my life, and hope that each finds their happiness.  Whether it is introducing their baby to their siblings, rejoicing that she has made one of the biggest and most wonderful decisions in her life, and one can't wait to hold her baby girl for the first time.  I pray that God holds each of these women close tonight, and that they know that blessings have been poured on all three.  Now what does this have to do with marriage, you might ask?  Marriage is about reflection and loving on others as well as yourselves.  That is when you know that you have a healthy marriage; when you can reflect with one another, and pour love on others together.  Love is what marriage is about.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Things to Think About!

Wow.  It is sad how long it has been since either of us has posted!  I would like this to be a random list of insights.  It'll be worth the read, I promise.
-Figure out your sleep schedules.  As in right now, I am writing this while Andrew is asleep.  It is important to figure out who is a morning person, who is not, who hits the snooze button all the time, and who does not.  It is important to respect one another with this, so you might need to compromise (i.e. Andrew goes to the couch where he hits the snooze button 5 billion times before he gets up).
-Save money.  Open a savings account at the very least and put money aside.  For school expenses, a house in the future, and any other little thing.
-Figure out who does what around the house.  This changes all the time!  Like now I am applying for jobs and about to start summer school.  Which means I have time to clean (yay. Except not).  But someone has to do it!  Talk it over, and come up with a plan that works for both of you.
-Accept that you will not always understand each other.  Andrew might not get why I can splurge on a purse, and I will never get his need for buying Star Wars books.  Even though you don't get it, don't discourage it (unless if you buy too many purses or books).
-No matter how much you think Star Wars books will not interest you, at least set out with the idea that someday you will pick one up and read it.  I'm not sayin you need to read all of them (there are a lot more than you know), but show interest.  And not the whole "I did the minimum" thing.  He might not want to go shopping, but sometimes you want a new candle from Bath & Body Works.  It happens.  Do something for the other person!
-Discuss things.  How much to spend on gifts, how many kids, future schooling, future hobbies, future jobs, how many pets, what type of milk, what happens if we don't get the jobs we want, and on and on.  A marriage is a learning process.  So learn. 
-Are you a crier?  A shouter?  A giver of mean looks?  What do you do under stress and when you are upset?  What is acceptable in a fight?  Andrew and I do not yell. That is one main rule we have.  Figure out what your rules are.
-Plan ahead.  I know it seems too much, but think about savings accounts for your children.  For all you know, you could have twins! Plan ahead and make sure you are ready for this (or as much as you can be).
-Don't stress.  Andrew and I are most happy when we are ourselves.  Embrace yourself and each other.  It is the most important thing to remember.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The D word

You know what I think about the D word?  In a good marriage, it is a threat.  In a bad marriage, it is a way out.  Andrew and I made a lifelong committment the day we got married, and have vowed to our lives that we would never change that vow.  For sicker, poorer, old, young, happy, sad.  We made a vow to stick to one another.  I have realized that divorce is acceptable in many situations, whether abuse or a very unhealthy relationship.  But that is because the vows have already been broken!  Other than that, I don't believe growing apart.  Although I have never lost a parent or a child, or I have never got into a fight that can't be undone, I still stick to my thoughts.  Don't ever bring up that word in a good marriage.  It is a way to hurt the other, to threaten them to be better, and one thing I have learned in marriage is that you should never be a threat to the other.  You should boost them up, not tear them down.  So make sure before you get married that you are willing to keep those vows in any circumstance.  If you are married, don't stoop to that level and threaten with the word divorce.  It's dumb.

Friday, February 3, 2012


Chains do not hold a marriage together.  It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.  ~Simone Signoret

I love this quote.  What an inspiration.  It is important to have a marriage that is not about controlling one another, but is about the freedom of being connected through the little moments.