Sunday, January 29, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Compare
Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? Maybe from a magazine, maybe a friend? In a relationship you can do the same thing. You can find yourself looking to someone's relationship, hoping to have something similar.
Don't.
The key to being happy in a relationship is to know what your relationship is made of, and to be happy with what you have. Whether you are single, married, or somewhere in between, be happy with each stage of life.
I have been blessed with multiple couples to help give me advice. I have never felt like I needed to make my marriage like someone else's though. I am happy with Andrew, and he is happy with me. You need to be as happy with where you are! Accept that no one has a relationship that is perfect, and that you should embrace the imperfections of your relationship and yourself. That allows you to have the best relationship you can have.
-LOVE
Don't.
The key to being happy in a relationship is to know what your relationship is made of, and to be happy with what you have. Whether you are single, married, or somewhere in between, be happy with each stage of life.
I have been blessed with multiple couples to help give me advice. I have never felt like I needed to make my marriage like someone else's though. I am happy with Andrew, and he is happy with me. You need to be as happy with where you are! Accept that no one has a relationship that is perfect, and that you should embrace the imperfections of your relationship and yourself. That allows you to have the best relationship you can have.
-LOVE
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Help Others!
Well, since the last post was looking for help, I felt like it was necessary to talk about helping others!
I think it is very important to not only look to others for advice and help with your relationship, but you should also be available for others who want advice. I know a lot of individuals who ask for advice. Although I am not extremely experienced or advanced in years, I do like to think that I can give advice. Mainly because I realize the importance of. Now believe me, I'm not perfect by any means, but I do like to show others tips that I have learned along the way, and to help others feel like they can ask me anything (which they can).
No matter where you are in a relationship, keep in mind that others are not only in the same position as you, but there are others that are also at a different stage in relationships too. So feel free to comment on topics that you would like advice about, or comment on how you are feeling about relationships!!
-LOVE
I think it is very important to not only look to others for advice and help with your relationship, but you should also be available for others who want advice. I know a lot of individuals who ask for advice. Although I am not extremely experienced or advanced in years, I do like to think that I can give advice. Mainly because I realize the importance of. Now believe me, I'm not perfect by any means, but I do like to show others tips that I have learned along the way, and to help others feel like they can ask me anything (which they can).
No matter where you are in a relationship, keep in mind that others are not only in the same position as you, but there are others that are also at a different stage in relationships too. So feel free to comment on topics that you would like advice about, or comment on how you are feeling about relationships!!
-LOVE
Friday, January 20, 2012
Help?
So. Have you ever really wondered what it is like to be married? I will tell you. It is wonderful. A real challenge at times, but wonderful. You know what one of the things that has really helped our marriage? Besides talking to each other, we also go to others and look to others for advice.
I have a few good friends that are currently married. It is wonderful! We have friends who have gotten married before us, after us, around the same time as us, and those who are looking forward to it. So what has been most helpful with my friends? Learning that you are not alone. You aren't alone in the indecisions of what to make for dinner, what to do tomorrow night, and even who will turn off the light at nights. Let's just say that the "nose goes" game is pretty popular in our household. So how do you learn from friends?
What I have learned is that my friends and I have similar bumps in the road, similar happy moments in life, and it is great to feel like you are not alone in the world as a couple. Also, looking to other couples who are more experienced than you (meaning they are either to the next step of their relationship, a new stage of life, or have been together longer) is beneficial. I have loved having couples that are similar to where Andrew and I are, and couples who are at a different stage of life than us. I am so excited that God has gifted me with that.
Just remember, although you and your spouse are individual, you might have similar difficulties as other couples. Don't talk badly about your husband, but sometimes it helps to have girl time to talk about things. It makes you feel less weird. Also, look to other couples for guidance as your take new steps in your relationship, but don't feel pressure to take any steps you don't want. For instance, some couples want children right away, while others want to wait to get settled. Each couple is different, so make sure you don't get too focused on what other couples are doing.
-LOVE
I have a few good friends that are currently married. It is wonderful! We have friends who have gotten married before us, after us, around the same time as us, and those who are looking forward to it. So what has been most helpful with my friends? Learning that you are not alone. You aren't alone in the indecisions of what to make for dinner, what to do tomorrow night, and even who will turn off the light at nights. Let's just say that the "nose goes" game is pretty popular in our household. So how do you learn from friends?
What I have learned is that my friends and I have similar bumps in the road, similar happy moments in life, and it is great to feel like you are not alone in the world as a couple. Also, looking to other couples who are more experienced than you (meaning they are either to the next step of their relationship, a new stage of life, or have been together longer) is beneficial. I have loved having couples that are similar to where Andrew and I are, and couples who are at a different stage of life than us. I am so excited that God has gifted me with that.
Just remember, although you and your spouse are individual, you might have similar difficulties as other couples. Don't talk badly about your husband, but sometimes it helps to have girl time to talk about things. It makes you feel less weird. Also, look to other couples for guidance as your take new steps in your relationship, but don't feel pressure to take any steps you don't want. For instance, some couples want children right away, while others want to wait to get settled. Each couple is different, so make sure you don't get too focused on what other couples are doing.
-LOVE
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
SLEEP is awesome
Hey, sorry again for being late on blogging. I promise I'll get used to this. Maybe this is why I could never keep a diary...
Anyways, the topic is about sleep. But don't think it'll put you to sleep (ha. I crack myself up. A lot.). Do you realize how important sleep is? Ok, for me, it is one of the most important things. Me without sleep is me attempting to stay alive with coffee. Not good.
So how am I used to sleeping? Before I was married, I slept with either my cats or by myself. I had a queen sized bed to myself. AND I got like 7 hours of sleep a night if I could.
Fast forward to married life. Now I sleep with my husband, in a similar sized bed, and I don't typically get as much sleep as I want. Between us both snooring and tosing and turning, it is still a challenge.
So what is the fix?
Sometimes you have to put your feelings aside and put the other person first. To be honest, sometimes I do tell Andrew to turn over to help with the snooring. I tell him to do the same with me. We both have to work together to have a successful night. Another thing that sometimes is tough is the couch issue. Sometimes it's just a bad night. You just can't sleep! So talk it over with your loved one. It's not about you or them. It is about sleep.
I know that was hard for me. Married life means always sleeping in the same bed, and it being really easy! It's not. I have never shared a bed let alone a room. So we both have to put the whole "you didn't sleep with me last night thing" aside. At first it hurt my feelings, and I thought it was about me. Sometimes it's just how it is. It doesn't mean every night. It doesn't mean you are giving up. Still enjoy the time you can sleep in the same bed. But I will admit one of us has slept on the couch every once in awhile in our 8ish months of marriage.
Just talk about it! I'm sure it'll happen. Sometimes it is a hard thing to adjust to. I'm sure that within a year or so we can say that we are even better at sleeping in the same bed. Just remember, look out for your spouse's feelings, and make sure to address them. Left unsaid, it can be unsettling. Just make sure that you are happy, he is happy, and that you both work together to be happy. No matter how weird it can be.
-LOVE
Anyways, the topic is about sleep. But don't think it'll put you to sleep (ha. I crack myself up. A lot.). Do you realize how important sleep is? Ok, for me, it is one of the most important things. Me without sleep is me attempting to stay alive with coffee. Not good.
So how am I used to sleeping? Before I was married, I slept with either my cats or by myself. I had a queen sized bed to myself. AND I got like 7 hours of sleep a night if I could.
Fast forward to married life. Now I sleep with my husband, in a similar sized bed, and I don't typically get as much sleep as I want. Between us both snooring and tosing and turning, it is still a challenge.
So what is the fix?
Sometimes you have to put your feelings aside and put the other person first. To be honest, sometimes I do tell Andrew to turn over to help with the snooring. I tell him to do the same with me. We both have to work together to have a successful night. Another thing that sometimes is tough is the couch issue. Sometimes it's just a bad night. You just can't sleep! So talk it over with your loved one. It's not about you or them. It is about sleep.
I know that was hard for me. Married life means always sleeping in the same bed, and it being really easy! It's not. I have never shared a bed let alone a room. So we both have to put the whole "you didn't sleep with me last night thing" aside. At first it hurt my feelings, and I thought it was about me. Sometimes it's just how it is. It doesn't mean every night. It doesn't mean you are giving up. Still enjoy the time you can sleep in the same bed. But I will admit one of us has slept on the couch every once in awhile in our 8ish months of marriage.
Just talk about it! I'm sure it'll happen. Sometimes it is a hard thing to adjust to. I'm sure that within a year or so we can say that we are even better at sleeping in the same bed. Just remember, look out for your spouse's feelings, and make sure to address them. Left unsaid, it can be unsettling. Just make sure that you are happy, he is happy, and that you both work together to be happy. No matter how weird it can be.
-LOVE
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Am I Good Enough?
Now this seems like such an easy topic. Especially since some of the previous posts are about being thebest you can be as an individual and in a couple. But I think everyone deals with this topic at least a little bit (including me). Am I good enough? Is what I am bringing to the table the best? Am I skinny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, loving enough? Am I really loveable?
I think each of us struggle with different questions, but whether we like them or not, they are usually there. True, some people are secure enough with themselves that these questions don't really get to them, but the questions still remain. So what do we do about them?
We need to decide that we really are good enough. No matter how much someone says you are beautiful, or how much someone likes your shoes, if you don't feel beautiful in your own skin, it will just be a minor fix to your problem. We are told that you have to be tall, thin, and tan to be beautiful in America. But look at some individuals who are going against that mold. Taylor swift and Emma Stone are pale. Adelle is not a size 2. But they are all gorgeous!! How might you ask?
Because they accept who they are and they treasure their individuality. Did you know that in some Asian cultures that the more pale you are, the more beautiful? Or that in the past, if you were a little heavier, you were considered rich and beautiful? Even today there are different standards in beauty according to your culture. You know what you really need to do? Find every part of you beautiful. Whether you have gained a little weight, you have a sunburn, and your best friend is a model, it is important to be happy with yourself.
And here's a key point of advice. Do you know who really finds that typical girl attractive? Other girls!! See, Andrew has told me plenty of times that he doesn't find the really skinny models attractive. Although it took a long time to understand that, most guys really don't find that attractive! It is girls telling other girls who they should be. Why let anyone say you should be like them, when you can be you!
Ok girls, let's face it. We all have had problems in our past that makes us question if we are good enough. Is there someone better out there for your guy? Are you the best for him? Are you good enough? It is important to address if you have those ideas, and to figure out what you should do about it. Just remember, you really are good enough! Andrew picked me because he was attracted to me at first sight. He still finds me just as attractive today! You just have to realize that you shouldn't think that the insecurities that you have are things that are not attractive to your man. Andrew loves me for who I am, so find a guy who can do that. It's lovely. Don't let someone else define you. You are beautiful!
-LOVE
I think each of us struggle with different questions, but whether we like them or not, they are usually there. True, some people are secure enough with themselves that these questions don't really get to them, but the questions still remain. So what do we do about them?
We need to decide that we really are good enough. No matter how much someone says you are beautiful, or how much someone likes your shoes, if you don't feel beautiful in your own skin, it will just be a minor fix to your problem. We are told that you have to be tall, thin, and tan to be beautiful in America. But look at some individuals who are going against that mold. Taylor swift and Emma Stone are pale. Adelle is not a size 2. But they are all gorgeous!! How might you ask?
Because they accept who they are and they treasure their individuality. Did you know that in some Asian cultures that the more pale you are, the more beautiful? Or that in the past, if you were a little heavier, you were considered rich and beautiful? Even today there are different standards in beauty according to your culture. You know what you really need to do? Find every part of you beautiful. Whether you have gained a little weight, you have a sunburn, and your best friend is a model, it is important to be happy with yourself.
And here's a key point of advice. Do you know who really finds that typical girl attractive? Other girls!! See, Andrew has told me plenty of times that he doesn't find the really skinny models attractive. Although it took a long time to understand that, most guys really don't find that attractive! It is girls telling other girls who they should be. Why let anyone say you should be like them, when you can be you!
Ok girls, let's face it. We all have had problems in our past that makes us question if we are good enough. Is there someone better out there for your guy? Are you the best for him? Are you good enough? It is important to address if you have those ideas, and to figure out what you should do about it. Just remember, you really are good enough! Andrew picked me because he was attracted to me at first sight. He still finds me just as attractive today! You just have to realize that you shouldn't think that the insecurities that you have are things that are not attractive to your man. Andrew loves me for who I am, so find a guy who can do that. It's lovely. Don't let someone else define you. You are beautiful!
-LOVE
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